Chaos in an Unconventional World

Eve fucked Adam, because God said so. Eve ate the forbidden apple. Eve is a badass. Eve is rough cut and a no bullshit kinda girl. I like her. I am Eve.

You have driven me to a point in life where I have had to reach out to a neutral party to remind myself of why I exist and why I matter. I can speak why I matter to anyone. Feeling it is different. I feel out of control. I feel worthless. Therapy said to be self-kind and remember what I am feeling and why. Well today I am pissed off and fucking mad. Why? Because you call at 4 am and disrupt the one thing I depend on to talk some shit about you need money to feed the girls and you are mad because I won’t let you have your wallet. You haven’t fed those girls in months. You don’t even know what we have to eat in this house. The only thing your wallet is good for is for holding all of the regrets that you have. The only thing your wallet is good for is the money I need to function. Therapy says that the human experience of suffering means that we all feel pain and it isn’t just me that is feeling the pain. I know others feel pain. I have empathy. I have compassion. Right now I just don’t

How can one be so fucking selfish about themselves?  Yes we should all take time for self-care, but what about compassion.  When someone is bending over backwards to meet your needs and all you can do is fucking complain about how they are doing things, how are you this mean? When my give a damn is completely busted because every time I do something for you, you yell and complain, why do I want to come see you and continue to give a shit? You are falling apart after 7 months of continual downfall and maybe it is time that you realized how much people are doing for you. One minute you are complimenting how things are being run and then next minute cutting me down. I have a house to run. Bills to pay. Kids to keep alive and happy. And you are worried about if I can find the charger for your fucking phone. You don’t realize that when you are gone that this house will continue to stand tall and these kids will continue to flourish and no eyes will be blinked, because you haven’t contribu